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For my sixty-first birthday, I got the confirmation that I had early-onset dementia. Or, as my tactless neurologist put it, my tests showed signs that I was “dementing.” Insofar as I had thought of dementia until then, I was unaware that the word had a verb form. He/she/it dements, they dement, we all dement. At the same moment I encountered dement as a verb, I was told I am dementing.

My sense that the verb form of dementia could not really apply to me will seem disingenuous in the light of what I am about to tell: my mother had a form of mental disconnect starting in her seventies, which led her to be out of touch with reality in the years that preceded her death at eighty-two. During an episode that took place in 1996 when she was seventy-two years old, the word dementia did come up in relation to her illness, though it never attained the weight of an official diagnosis. Given that experience, together with the generally known fact that dementia can run in families, why did the phrase I am dementing fall so dissonantly on my ear? It is of course possible, even likely, that my failure to bring this knowledge to bear on my own circumstances was a form of denial. However, while I do believe that denial is an inevitable component of coming to terms with an unpleasant state of affairs, I think my own bafflement at being the subject of the present continuous form of the verb to dement had as much to do with the workings of language itself as it had with a refusal to face the facts.

I spent much of my adult life studying contemporary linguistic theory, which often focuses on the powerful effects of language on how a person or situation is perceived. My belated pursuit of a PhD in English during my forties introduced me to the Enlightenment thinkers’ obsession with the idea of naming, an issue they discussed in terms of Adam’s expulsion from the Garden of Eden. Finding himself in a “strange Country,” with “all Things new, and unknown about him,”[1] Adam copes with his discomposure by giving names “distinct and appropriate to the facts”[2] to the unknown objects and concepts of his new world. Like Adam, I was familiar with the “facts” of a world of mental illness, a place as east of Eden as the godforsaken Land of Nod.[3] My Tree of Knowledge branched not only from my experience with my mother, but also from my own growing sense—from my mid-fifties onward—that I myself had been exiled to a “strange Country” of memory loss and other bewildering forms of disorientation.

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[1] John Locke, An Essay Considering Human Understanding.

[2] John Whewell, Philosophy of the Inductive Sciences.

[3] Country to which Cain fled after killing Abel.

Unspeakable

Pet Show

last post ... I think

I have updated the link to my new blog covering the liffe of the quail and other wildlife in our backyard. Check it out !!

Ah! Some chocolates from SA, and glad to see mom. Now we don't have to look after the old man anymore. 

Home again, home again, market is done.

The end of the long adventure is here. G arrived looking perky after flying for 32 hours. I picked her up, brought her home and left her to explore the house again while I went to work for the rest of the day.  Tonight she has fallen asleep on a familiar bed and will feel a ton better in the morning.

This is the end of my 3-week long saga of life as a temporary bachelor.  Now I am a conventional husband again with a wife to look after me.

After 32 hours on the plane and at aorports ... and a long-sleeve blouse in 103 degrees. 

"How did you get so much done?"

Pity about the second comment J … it sounded like I was being super-efficient with no excuses.  You should remember that it is IN-SPITE of being on vacation that I got SO MUCH DONE.  Yeah, to me it felt like I got so little done and the two weeks went by too quickly. I have grown addicted to doing my little epistle every day because it gives me a chance to recap parts of the day as well as communicate with the ether, knowing that there are at least some people that read this blog.

So glad that W expanded her communication options and can give her succinct sentences over the air now as well. Espionage can be used against you, so be careful!

The day gefore ...

Twas the day before G-Day,

And all through the house

Not a creature was partying, not even a spouse.

Instead, what the spouse was doing until almost midnight was:

Vacuming

Washing dishes

Washing clothes

Polishing floor

Putting away all the crap

Buying fruit, bread, chops, bread, caffeine-free cokes, 1% milk, light yogurt, windex

Cleaning the stoop and benches

Cleaning the bathrooms

All done and I am LOOKING FORWARD to tomorrow midday when the plane arrives.

C called yesterday and said I should call her back.  Well, the first day back at work went from 8.00am to after 10pm when we returned from taking out our collegue from England, and I just fell into bed when I came home without calling C.  Tonight I call C and find out she went to the hospital with pains in her chest.  The problem is a damaged esophagus which she is now treating.  I feel SO guilty that I did not call yesterday when I got the message to at least provide some support.  C at least knows what the problem is and is is a lot better than any other cause of chest pain.  She must eat foods that do not aggravate her  esophagus for the next few days.

Day 1 at the office

So this is what the world looks like at 7.00am!  What a rude awakening to get back to work. My, my. The company is still operating and making a profit so I guess I am not THE key to success at the company.  The dreaded email catch-up was the first order of the day and then trying to find out what I had last done two weeks ago, and what had transpired in the meanwhile.  The pleasant surprise was that a colleague from England had arrived here and brought some nice English candy in a large cylindrical container which is perched on my desk. This is not good for my trim youthful figure J

Tonight we take her out for a nice dinner in town.

Then there is the comment from Lance (kt) Armstrong:  First of all, click on the picture to see it in larger format and then you will notice that the picture is somewhat better and you know that you need to blame the photographer and not the subject for a bad pic.  Although I have to say I am absolutely delighted that you have enjoyed my ramblings.  When a techy writes and a literary fundi enjoys it, there can be no better compliment. You and I will both be packing, straightening, cleaning and preparing for G’s return. I have the whole house to fix up!!!! There will be no sleep for me tonight and tomorrow because G gets back on Wednesday and this place is going to look fabulous … OK maybe not FABULOUS, but at least it will not be a mess.

I need to change into my jeans and fangs for a nice piece of meat at Spencer’s tonight.

End of the holidays

I did NOT get to clean all the house as planned today but C&N came over and we had a marathon helicopter session with obstacle course, landing zones and having to pick up a hook with the heli.  Twice the rotors of the heli hit the wire loop we were supposed to pick up … and the wire hoop DISAPPEARED. We looked all over the lawn, the shrubs, the street and across the road but it just seemed to be vaporized.  The lawn mower may well find it and clog the blades!

While N and I were exploring the skies, C was reading a rather steamy novel and passing comments every now and then on the risqué content of the book.  We ended the evening with some nice ice-cream and now the weekend and vacation is over.  I will have to complete the cleaning on Monday or at THE LATEST ON TUESDAY before G gets back.

Sunday, Sunday.

Dropped in to K&S to say hi and give the kids a set of FRS radios (walkie-talkie for the uninitiated). The little radios emit a blurp/bleep everytime you push a button and so this is already driving everyone crazy.  Hope the batteries run out sometime, but then again, I can leave whenever I want to while S&K CANNOT.

I brunch-crashed and had some nice pancakes/syrup/bacon, coffee and orange juice while we chatted about parenting, friends and neighbours. 

After taking another quick heli training flight, I have to get serious about cleaning up this place in preparation for G’s return. C had to do all her work in my ABSOLUTELY CLUTTERED room and I felt guilty enough while she was here.  I have been promising myself that I will clean this up and today is the DAY. First some coffee and a pb and honey sandwich … which makes me think about my measurements:  I have a 34 inch waist and a 30 inch leg inseam.  Does that mean I am taller when I lie down? EGADS.

A great parachute game to focus the energy requirements on the right person!